Like most families, we like to start the new year with a bit of a clean slate, which means moving on old pieces of furniture and belongings that are just cluttering our life and no longer needed.

But this is a surprisingly difficult task.

Almost every time we go to get rid of a major piece of furniture, we stop and look at all the emotional and social connections that are still attached to it.

For example, our bed was given to us by my parents when we moved into our current house, and they decided to downscale to a smaller place and when my father went into care and couldn’t sleep in a regular bed any longer.

Our dining table was given to us by close friends who asked us to ‘look after it for them’, when they found out we had nowhere to eat our meals, but they have since moved to a different city and have never mentioned the table again.

My sister in law ‘loaned’ us a bed for our son when she found out he was just sleeping on a mattress on the floor some years back, and when he finally bought his own bed with money he earned from his first job, she always changes the subject when we ask her if she wants the old bed back.

The big factor here is that a lot of these generous gifts were done out of the kindness of strangers many years ago when we were in major financial difficulties as I had just started a new business venture.

Our friends and family knew that we were too proud to ask for help, so their suggestions to let us ‘borrow’ stuff and never asking for it back was their gentle way to actually give us stuff to lead a normal life without impacting our dignity. I am grateful for that.

But it does mean that every time I look to move some of this stuff on, that I (a) remember the situation we were in, and become grateful for how far we have come since those days, and (b) we remember those friends and family and cherish their kindness and genorosity. Somehow, these things mean a lot more than normal, and getting rid of them doesn’t seem quite right or respectful.